Don't Rain On My Parade

Well, we did it. If you're reading this, you successfully made it a whole week into the new year. CONGRATS! How are those resolutions? haha! Don't worry, mine isn't going so well. Still haven't done a new thing.  I keep thinking of the things I do, but nothing's new.  So I can't write about that.

But something that's bugging me is how much I let things bug me. Is that ironic? Or a Catch 21? I'm not really sure. (Check out a video explaining how Alanis mislead us about the concept of irony @ http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1925705). Anywho, I was listening to the 2nd Glee Soundtrack on my drive home from two days of Christmas up north with my family. I was going on family overload and not looking forward to work the next day and this song came on and make me think of adopting it as my "anthem" for the year. *I need to preface this by saying I love my family to death and no matter what they do or how angry I get at them, they'll always be family and I'm so lucky to have them.* The song was, "Don't Rain On My Parade." Lately I've been feeling like I'm really coming to my groove of "being me." I'm actually okay with who I am, there are even days that I love me! :) Not going to lie, coming out is tough. You might get over the initial reaction of realizing and telling people, but it's a huge change within. Like I once told my roommate, Willie, it's sort of like I'm 6 years behind everyone mentally and emotionally. For straight people, hitting puberty around 12 you deal with a whole bunch of new stuff, hormones, being attracted to the opposite sex and hair sprouting everywhere! While I went through physical puberty around the same time, I didn't get to validate my "gay puberty" until I came out in college. And so this is where I get to apologize to everyone who's experienced my mood swings in the past couple years....SORRY! They're getting better...except at work...which is a whole other blog! haha!


Back to the song. So I finally love me. And it's hard when I go home and know that I'm loved with an asterisks. That's to say that I know my mom loves me and would do anything for my happiness, but she would rather ignore the fact that I'm gay. I'm not sure if it's a generational thing or religious thing, but whatever it is, it kills me. She thinks she's protecting my dad by not letting me tell him. And that's her prerogative, but I hope she knows that's shes doing just as much hurt as she's trying to avoid.


So here are some of the lyrics to the song that I really connected with:


Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade

At least I didn't fake it, hat, sir
I guess I didn't make it
But whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection
A freckle on the nose of life's complexion
The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye
I gotta fly once, I gotta try once,
Only can die once, right, sir?
Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see,
I gotta have my bite, sir.
Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade,

I'm gonna live and live NOW!
Get what I want, I know how!
One roll for the whole shebang!
One throw that bell will go clang,
Eye on the target and wham,
One shot, one gun shot and bam!


So I leave you with this. Be you! Don't let someone tell you to smile if you don't want to. Live and live NOW! Life can be short or it can be long.  We don't know.  All we have is now.  If you can't be you and love being you, what's the use of trying to put up the charade?  Don't fake it...people know.  And absolutely don't let anyone rain on your parade!

Happy first week!
later days
-Ted

start of 2010

good morning World! day number 4 in the new decade. hope all is well. anyone break their resolutions yet?! haha!

as many of you know, yesterday Willie and I went to the Vikings v. Giants game at the Dome. It was a sad day for me, but we had lots of beverages to help cope...and make friends with the "fair-weather" Vikings fans. It was fun. Got to see my older bro throw a couple good passes, not get sacked as much as other games and it wasn't a total barn burner!

well then it was off to OC. Willie wasn't able to finish his mini-tour, but we still had fun.  Had a horrible waitress, now dubbed "Hoover 2," which seems to be a problem on the weekend there.  Willie found his name on the "Wall of Foam," but we suspect mine is in uptown because that was my original home store.  Hope they got that changed.

We also discussed how Willie and I have gone to 3 professional sporting events together: MN Wild, Twins and now Vikings.  So we decided to go a Timberwolves game sometime this year.  Probably against the Bulls with Jen. It will be fun and something I can put on my list.

I was read an article about celebrities' wishes for 2010 and it made me think about what I wish for the start of the new decade. But I'm taking a spin on this. If I was granted three wishes and they couldn't give me money, they would be as follows:

1) To be put in a boxing ring with Ryan Seacrest for three rounds, kick his butt and scream "SEACREST OUT!" over his unconscious body and bloodied face...oh what a dream! In case you didn't know, I really don't like him.

2) To be stranded on an island with Thore Schölermann where we could hike all day, mud wrestle while Lady Gaga performs Bad Romance in the background (yeah I stole that one from Jake. Thanks for the awesome idea!), and cuddle by a fire all night. *sigh*

3) I know world peace, equality for everyone, legalized gay marriage and the end to poverty are novel ideas a wish, but having a closet that cleaned itself when I throw my stuff it would be so AWESOME!!!

that's all I got for now.

later days

-Ted

Welcome!

Ted here. So we've reached the end of the first decade in the new millennium! How exciting?! (This is when someone in the background toots a broken horn from last night! lol)

Anywho, as some of you know I've given up on New Year's resolutions. They never work...or if they do, the last five minutes. Lose weight. Gain it back. Start dating a guy. Break up. Leave the state. Come back. So I say to New Year's resolutions in the great words of the comedic genius Kathy Griffin, "SUCK IT RESOLUTIONS!"

But this year, 2010, is a big year for you me. Finished a great year of torte parties. Applying, and hopefully getting into, graduate school. And of course turning 25!!! I use to avoid birthdays, but then my friend Jen reminded me that your birthday is a whole day devoted to YOU! It's so AWESOME when you think of it that way! So in honor of my 25th milestone, I will be dedicating the year 2010 to doing 25 new things! From anything to trying new food, joining a sports team that I've never tried (anyone know of a Quidditch team in the U.S.?), or getting a tattoo!?!?!

I'm really excited about this and want to share my adventures with friends and family...and strangers who stumble upon this. Hello stranger! I totally look forward to feedback and suggestions for my list of 25 things. If you're like me, you'll never check this, but this is also something for me to have to look back on in another 25 years and have a few good laughs I hope!

Ok, well that's all I got for now. Bear with me while I get this whole blogging thing under control. I wish I could say this is number one on my list, but I did a livejournal while I was abroad junior year in college...I think I had 4 or 5 entries.

later days

-Ted